


and we’ll number the stars one by one

by CC_Writes_Stuff



Series: Make It Hurt: Whumptober 2020 [18]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Blood, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Gen, Hilda Valentine Goneril & Claude von Riegan Friendship, Hilda Valentine Goneril is a Little Shit, Minor Character Death, Mutual Pining, My Unit | Byleth Has Emotions, My Unit | Byleth Needs a Hug, Panic Attacks, Past Character Death, Phobias, Pining, Soft Claude von Riegan, Stressed Claude von Riegan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:07:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26623387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CC_Writes_Stuff/pseuds/CC_Writes_Stuff
Summary: Byleth and Claude are set to leave for Derdriu, but unbeknownst to him, Byleth has a phobia of wyverns.-Written for Whumptober Day 18: Panic! At the Disco
Relationships: Hilda Valentine Goneril & Claude von Riegan, My Unit | Byleth & Original Character(s), My Unit | Byleth/Claude von Riegan
Series: Make It Hurt: Whumptober 2020 [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1915390
Kudos: 47
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	and we’ll number the stars one by one

“Hey, Teach, you ready to go?”

Knuckles rapped twice on her door, and Byleth looked up from her book towards the source of the noise, despite knowing who it was. After all, Claude was the only person in the monastery who called her Teach. Sure enough, the brown-haired man was leaning against the door to her bedroom, a satchel thrown over his shoulder and arms crossed over his chest.

“Mm-hmm,” Byleth hummed, glancing at her own satchel resting at the foot of her bed. Closing her book, she stood up and set it down, before grabbing the satchel as she stood up, quickly crossing the room to her door. Claude, ever the gentleman, stepped out of the way, letting Byleth walk through and head outside. “I assume you have everything you need as well?”

“Yup. Everything I need for a hellish week attempting to negotiate with the other lords and ladies,” Claude said, sighing. “I swear, it’s easier to tame a wild wyvern than it is to get everyone in the Alliance to agree on something.”

Byleth hummed in response, rubbing her arms. If she was being honest, she’d much rather deal with negotiating, even if she wasn’t the best at it.

Some of the other people in the army waved to them as they passed, saying their goodbyes before Claude and Byleth left for the week. Hilda was one of them, bounding over to them and dragging Marianne with her at the stairs to the marketplace.

“Hey, good luck in the negotiations, Claude,” Hilda said with a wink towards the Alliance Leader. “Try not to kill Lorenz’s father while you’re there, hmm?”

“No promises, Hils,” Claude said with a soft chuckle. Hilda chuckled as well, swatting at his arm.

“Oh, you’ve made it for five years dealing with him. You can deal with him for one more week, Mr. Leader Man,” she replied. Claude sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“Five years too long,” he said, shaking his head. Hilda smiled sweetly, twirling one of her pigtails around her fingers.

“Well, at least you have the Professor there, hmm? Out of everyone in the army, and you have to go with her,” She added. Her voice was dripping with honey, and Byleth got the sense she was implying something, but she couldn’t place her finger on as to what. Claude, though, must’ve, because Byleth saw his cheeks darkening out of the corner of her eyes.

“Yeah. Anyways, we should get going, hmm?” He said just a little-too-quickly, and Byleth frowned as Hilda chuckled, with Marianne sighing in the background.

“That eager, hm?” Hilda practically purred, her smile growing, and Claude coughed.

“Well, my retainer is expecting us by nightfall, and it takes some time to fly to Derdiru, especially if we’re going to stop for an early dinner,” Claude said, and Byleth got the sense he was covering for something, but what?

“Sure he is,” Hilda said, before twirling in place. “Alright. Have fun on your vacation, you two! We’ll see you next week. And hey, Claude, don’t forget to tell me if you get into any... shenanigans... with the Professor here, hmn?”

Another cough as Claude looked away from Byleth. “Yeah,” Claude choked out, and Byleth frowned. “Anyways, I gotta get going, you know, got a lot of stuff to do, bye you two!”With a quick wave, he sped off as Hilda cackled and Marianne sighed. Byleth stayed long enough to say her goodbyes, but didn’t miss the quiet, “Claude is so not subtle, it’s hilarious and infuriating at the same time,” from Hilda as she hurried to catch up with Claude, speedily walking towards the marketplace.

“Bye, Professor! By, Von Reigan! Have a safe trip!” Gatekeeper - Carlos - called out as they walked by. Byleth waved to him, before jogging slightly to catch up with Claude.

“You okay?” She asked as they walked up the stairs leading to the stable. Claude let out a nervous chuckle, pausing on the steps to face her.

“Yeah. Hilda just keeps teasing me about something that, um… that I’m not doing.”

“And that is?” She asked, tilting her head. Once more, Claude’s cheeks seemed to darken in color a little.

“It’s, uh… that’s… that’s personal,” he said too quickly, turning and continuing up the stairs. Byleth frowned, but decided to drop it - if it was making him uncomfortable, she wouldn’t push for details. She had learned a while back to let him come to her - pushing was just liable to get him to clam up and close off. So she switched topics instead.

“How long will it take to get to Derdriu?” Earlier, Claude said his retainer had been expecting them by nightfall, but something in her suspects that he was just using it as a deflection. Traveling to Derdriu, she expected, would take a couple days - it had taken one to get to Myrddion, and even though it was just the two of them, Derdiru was further inland than the bridge.

“Like I said, by nightfall,” Claude said. Byleth blinked in confusion.

“Really? I thought you were joking,” Byleth said. How would they get to Derdriu by nightfall? Claude looked over his shoulder, shooting her a wink.

“Nope! Yelah will take us there - isn’t that right, girl?”

Byleth stiffened as she followed Claude out into the stable, where his bark-brown wyvern was at, right in the middle of the road. Cyril was holding onto the reins, and waved at Byleth when he saw her, but Byleth couldn’t wave back. Her eyes scanned the area for any pegasi, but she didn’t see any, and gulped.

“Is… is she taking b-both of us?” She asked, her voice wavering slightly, the grip on her satchel tightening until her nails dug into her skin.

“Yup! That way, we can hopefully get to Derdriu by the time the sun goes down,” Claude said, running a hand down the wyvern’s neck. She made a growl that could’ve been happy, but Byleth flinched at the sound, and wiped her free palm on her clothes, once, twice, three times.

 _Calm down,_ Byleth, she scolded herself, balling her hand into a fist to keep it from shaking. _It may be a wyvern, but it’s a tamed one, and Claude’s - she’s a friend, she’s a friend, she’s a friend._

That thought still didn’t ease her nerves any less as she forced herself to walk towards the wyvern with locked legs. A part of Byleth knew she could say something to Claude, but her jaw was tight, and she didn’t think she could get the words out. Her hands were wet, too wet, and she wiped them on her clothes again.

Just a foot or two away from Yelah, and the wyvern’s head suddenly turned away from Claude, locking eyes with Byleth. She froze again, the world around her darkening for a moment and were the eyes gleaming or was it just her imagination?

_“Byleth! Move!”_

“Why don’t you say hi, Teach?” Claude asked, but his gaze was focused on the wyvern, satchel hanging halfway down his arm. The wyvern’s attention was drawn towards it, sniffing, and the Alliance Leader chuckled. “Yeah, you smell food, don’t you, girl? You’re hungry, aren’t you?”

Something was burning, Byleth could tell, watching as Claude took off the satchel. He knelt next to the ground and opened it up, before pulling out a large piece of meat. The wyvern made a sound like a snort, and Claude chuckled, stepping back a few steps before tossing the food up in the air. The wyvern’s jaws snapped open towards the food, showing rows of sharp, piercing teeth.

Byleth flinched, stumbling backwards out of instinct, legs suddenly weak and memories she had never managed to forget flashed in her mind-

 _-Yellow light from roaring flames glinted off a silver axe and teeth, gaping maw of sharp teeth ready to tear apart flesh and_ Byleth couldn’t move.

_“Byleth! Look out!” A voice called, and Byleth was suddenly being pushed out of the way, hitting the ground hard-_

“-ach?”

_A snap, a crunch, a scream that reached the high heavens. It bounced through Byleth’s bones, echoing, echoing, echoing, imprinting itself deep into her bones. There was hot breath blowing onto her back, with something cold on her neck, and suddenly her palms were wet and warm and there was a bloody dagger in them-_

_“Byleth, it hur’s, it hurts so much, please, I don’t want to die-”_

“Ofess…?”

“Byleth!”

_Eyes as black and wide as the night sky stared at her, terrified and teary and begging, and Byleth knew those eyes and they were going dull to fast and it was her fault, her fault, her fault, the blood was on her hands-_

Someone was talking to her, but the words were like cotton in ears, and quiet compared to the piercing scream and tearful pleading that bounced around her mind.

The world went grey, tilting on its axis, and when Byleth hit the ground, all she could see was the person she failed to save.

* * *

It was nearing evening when Byleth woke.

When Claude caught her starting to stir, he reluctantly let go of the hand he’d been holding for the last two or so hours, shoving them in between his legs. If Byleth had noticed while she woke, she didn’t say anything, instead blinking and sitting up, her gaze finally falling on Claude.

“Hey, Teach,” he said with all the lightness he could muster, giving her a half-smile. Byleth blinked a few times, squinted, nose scrunching, before her face slipped back into its usual stoic appearance.

“...Claude?” Her voice was hesitant, unsure, like she was feeling it out. He nodded.

“The one and only,” he replied. Byleth blinked again, before looking around.

“...When did I get to the infirmary?” She asked after another few seconds, and her gaze drifted back to Claude. “What happened?”

In response, Claude raised a shoulder. “I don’t really know, to be honest. One moment, I was feeding Yelah, and the next you were fainting on the ground.” He frowned, trying to find the words he wanted to say. He also didn’t miss how she flinched when he said his wyvern’s name. “Are you okay? I don’t… You looked scared, Teach, and you didn’t respond when I tried to talk to you.”

Claude saw her gulp, and she glanced away from him, down at her lap, at her hands. They were shaking, a part of him realized, if just slightly. “Oh.” A pause, and she closed them, tight until Claude saw her knuckles were white. “Sorry. I didn’t mean…”

She trailed off, and Claude frowned. This wasn’t like Byleth. She looked… small, with white blankets draped over her, when normally she was a force of nature, someone to be reckoned with. He was missing pieces of the puzzle, Claude knew it.

“I know,” he said after a moment, and he changed seats so he was sitting at the foot of her bed instead of the stool next to her. “But you don’t normally act like that, Byleth. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Byleth’s gaze darted up to him for a moment, before she looked back down at her lap again. Then, with slow movements, she pushed down some of the blankets and untied a small satchel that hung around her waist. Claude had seen it before, but had never actually known what was inside of it, and each time he asked, she went silent and brushed it off.

It’s something important, he realizes, watching as Byleth sets it in her lap and opens it up. Out of curiosity, he leans forward, and she pulls out two small glass bottles with something inside of each one.

“What are those?” He asks, pulling his legs up onto the bed and crossing them, shifting so he’s looking at Byleth. Byleth is silent as she picks one up and hands it over to him. Claude takes it, and peers inside.

He’s… he’s not entirely sure what it is, exactly, but Byleth speaks before he can wager a guess or ask.

“I… When I was younger, I had a friend who told me that… that anyone with a star named after them will be remembered forever… even after death.” Her voice is quiet, soft. “He was never able to reach the stars, so, instead, he made mockeries of them. One for him, one for me.”

Blinking, Claude looks up at her, before looking down at the bottle again. Now that he looks at it twice, there are some wood chips and leaves - petals? - resembling a tiny star.

“When I was younger, we took a job in Almyra - or, at least, half of the group did. The other half stayed in Sauin village, including my dad - I think that’s why Leonie doesn’t remember seeing me.” Byleth shakes her head. “Anyways, I was with the half that went to Almyra, along with my friend - Neeks.

“We were really close, him and I. He was the only other kid relatively around my age growing up, and probably the first and only person I ever really considered a friend, before I met you guys.” A soft chuckle escapes Byleth’s lips, and when she looks up at him, there’s a mischievous glint to her eyes. “I think you two would’ve gotten along. He liked strategy games, archery and the night time. I think, to him, it was more about the freedom, the darkness, than the stars, but the sentiment applies.”

“Would’ve?” Claude says, noting the word choice. The mischievousness in his teacher’s eyes fades, and she looks down at her lap again. Claude recognizes the expression, and a bad taste forms in his mouth - it’s the same lost look she had in the month following Captain Jeralt’s death.

Byleth nodd, balling her hands into fists. “He… when we took the job in Almyra, we were protecting some merchants headed to the capitol. On our third night in, we got attacked by bandits. I don’t… I don’t remember much of what happened, but I remember me and Neeks got separated from the rest of the mercenaries.”

She paused, something dark crossing her face.

“We fought for what seemed like hours, but couldn’t have been more than ten minutes, until our opponents were either dead or unconscious. But one them whistled, and by the time we finished, someone else had shown. A woman, on a wyvern. She charged right at me. The wyvern’s mouth was open, and all I could see was its teeth, sharp, and it… and it looked ready to tear me apart and…”

Her hands started to shake, and Claude reached out, setting one on her own. She looked up at him, and Claude saw the gratefulness flash in her eyes before she looked down again. He thinks he knows where this is going.

“That was the first and last time I ever froze in a battle before. Having a wyvern that can tear you in half charging you is different than fighting some bandit who can’t hold a sword or lance properly, I guess. I couldn’t move, just… rooted to the spot, staring as the woman flew towards me, axe raised, and I thought, I’m going to die here.

“Then… then Neeks called my name, and suddenly I was being shoved out of the way and onto the ground. I was saved. But the price…”

Byleth let out a shaky breath, and Claude set down the bottle, taking both her hands in his, but not daring to interrupt.

“I’ll never forget his scream, or… or the sound of crunching bones. It’s one of the few things I’d like to forget.” Byleth started shaking her head. “And that smile the woman wore when she looked at me… I’ll never forget that, either. It was the same sort of smile that… that Kronya had after she killed Jeralt. Smug, gloating, dare I say vindictive. I saw red.

“The battle after is a blur to me. I don’t remember how I defeated her - if I even defeated her, of if she ran away somehow and I didn’t notice. The… the next thing I do remember is kneeling in front of Neeks.”

The shake from her hands made her way up to her body, and Claude moved again, pulling her into a gentle hug. His heart ached.

“He was… he was still breathing, Claude… the wyvern hadn’t killed him, but he was injured, and he was in pain… Gods, he was in so much pain… He could barely breathe and there was so much blood… And I had no clue where the healer was, but there was no way he could wait for her, and I didn’t know magic…” Her voice shook.

“Breathe, Byleth.” He couldn’t have her hyperventilating and passing out again. Byleth took a few shaking breaths, before starting again.

“He was in pain, Claude, and he was begging, he didn’t want to die, but… there was no way he could make it for the healer to get to him, and…” Arms snaked around Claude’s back, and when she spoke again, her voice was quiet. “...it was a mercy killing in the end.”

Something twisted in Claude’s heart, and he tightened his hold around her, just slightly. Byleth leaned forward into the embrace, and Claude wondered if she was crying.

It took a few moments for Byleth to collect herself, leaning back when she did. Her eyes were splotchy and red, so Claude lifted up his hand and put it on her cheek.

“Since… since then, I can’t stand being around wyverns…” she gulped, shook her head. “I’m sorry. I know you like wyverns, but I just…”

“Hey, hey, it’s alright, Teach,” Claude said. “I don’t blame you. “You could’ve said something, though. You don’t have to ride on Yelah if you don’t feel comfortable. I’m sure Ingrid wouldn’t mind you borrowing her pegasi for the trip.”

Byleth nodded, leaning into the touch, and Claude’s heart fluttered a little. “Thanks, Claude.”

He nodded. “Yeah. Anything for you, my friend.”


End file.
